Distracted Discourse

2005-01-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

Alive in 2005

When I woke up yesterday morning, I had the strangest feeling that this year is going to be the best year of my life, that is I had that feeling about an hour after my head stopped pounding and I was once again able to walk in a straight line. I think I passed out at around 12:15 on New Year's, but my date swears it was more like 1:15, and if that's true I can't remember it. Luckily, I had the best date ever and he didn't even care that I'm super lame and I drink too much and go to bed early. Then there was yesterday when I had to wake up at 10:00am and go to work with pets and kids all day. Normally, working with pets and kids all day is precisely my cup of tea, however not so when one has a huge hang over. Ouch! Then I was supposed to get picked up from work by a person who had borrowed my car, only to find out that they got into an accident and my Buick is now really beat up...And I just got it out of the shop last week. Ewww! Now I can't go home for a long time because I have to get my car fixed...And I'm sad because he's leaving today and I didn't get to see him last night because of all that stupid car crash stuff. Oh well, on the upside it is absolutely lovely to have someone's sister tell you that their brother is absolutely mad about you.

2004-12-29T13:12:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
For New Year's Eve my date got us a penthouse suite at the Swiss Hotel in Atlanta overlooking the fantastic fireworks display at Lenox Mall because he is a fucking pimp. This rules!

2004-12-16T07:29:00.000-08:00

If anyone wants to snail mail me here is my address:

Rex Adventure
(It has come to my attention that posting your address on the inter web is dangerous)
However, "Night of the Living Mullets" was fabulous JPP, you shall be recieving a letter...probably after New Year's.

If you write me a letter, I wiil write you one back and include pictures and possibly candy. Trust me, I have nothing better to do except hang out with my dog.

2004-12-13T06:23:00.000-08:00

TIS' THE SEASON:

To be a broke as fuck Jewish girl, also known as me. I am selling my computer to help pay bills because it is the only thing of value I own. If my dad finds out he will kill me! Only he won't find out because he is spending Hanukkah in Israel. Boo! Everyone expect far less posting because I a.) Will no longer own a computer, and b.) Might not be in college next semester (no computer labbing). This is all a long, long story that I don't feel like telling, so I will now change the subject...

THERE WILL BE A SPECTACULAR HOLIDAY PARTY AT OUR HOUSE, 962 Reese Street in Athens, GA on December 20th. (That's next Monday.) FORMAL WEAR IS REQUIRED. BOOZE AND PRESENTS ARE WELCOME.

2004-12-10T05:13:00.000-08:00

Today I want to kiss things in gratitude, but not people. I had a date yesterday with a really sweet, handsome, successful man in his mid-thirties. I stood him up. Not because I didn't like him, I think he's darling. I stood him up because the prospect of getting myself into a one-on-one situation with someone I like trying to kiss me terrifies me...Unless I'm drunk. But who wants to have to be drunk to get kissed by someone they really like and not cry about it? I was too scared that I would have freaked out on him and then he would think that I was just a silly 20 year old school girl (which I am) who doesn'tknow how to deal with men. I didn't even call, so I'm sure by now he thinksI'm a horrible cunt. Such is my life. It's been over 3 months now, doesn't this shit ever go away?

2004-12-10T04:55:00.000-08:00

My little Kitten Mitten is dead and I cried about it all day yesterday. I was pretty sure she would put up a good fight, I mean she came that far. She seemed like tough stuff. There I was driving down 316 when I got turned inside out. I was driving and crying for miles and I'm positive I was the epitomy of pathetic. I didn't realize hearts could break over such small things. She didn't even weigh a pound. I got home and there was loud music, so I thought,"FUCK! We have company and I'm crying and look like shit.Prepare for the worst." Luckily it was just my wonderful roommate and she cheered me up. That is, untilI went back to Atlanta and cried myself to sleep and wondered if my heart will always feel like it could never break again anytime something like this happens.

2004-12-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, so some girl in my Psychology class randomly walks up to me in the hall and says, "Hey do you want a kitten? I found it in the street and it looks sick. I almost ran over it, so I picked it up out of the road, but I can't keep it.".....Which brings me to the picture featured above. That is my school bag, and yes, that is the kitten inside of it. I am now walking around campus with a stray, sick, sleeping kitty in my bag. I should reallly learn to say "NO". That's ok, I'm taking it to a safe home after my last class. I hope it will be quiet for another 2 hours, because it mewed really loudly in my Abnormal Psych class...So I pretended I was yawning.

As for Bobby's party...IT KICKED SERIOUS ASS! I have the Groom pic on buzznet. I think men running around in hot pink thongs are indeed hilarious.

Does anyone want a kitten?

2004-12-06T10:30:00.000-08:00

PARTY TIME!!!

Tonight is my gay boyfriend's wedding party. Fucking rock! The invitation is labeled as "Big Gay Fag Male Stripper Wedding" it is at Atlanta's numero uno male strip club, "Swingin' Richard's". Now, I am positive that male strippers are one of the funniest things on the planet, so that alone is enough incentive to go. That, and the fact that there will be an open bar. However, if I get flacid cock shoved in my face, I am going to officially be a full out lesbian for the rest of my life. Plus, Bobby is trying to set me up with one of "the boys" because apparently only four of the sixty eight dancers are gay. I don't know why he thinks I will even talk to one of them, more or less date one. Oh well, I trust that after I get drunk off my two cocktails I will be really mean to anyone that tries to hit on me. Entertainment for all.

2004-12-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

I didn't rinse all of the shampoo out of my hair this morning, so now it's all stuck together and looks like crap, but it smells fabulous! We got our house! It has no gas (CRAP!) because Kristen and I both have bad credit. Creditors are assholes! Oh well. We are having a Christmas Party...I don't know when, but I will inform, never fear.
I sat around coloring in my "My Little Pony" coloring book last night and thought to myself..."Man, you should really get a life Miranda." That, or I should at least start taking myslef really seriously so as to entertain others. Kristen and I somehow got on the subject of how I will one day annoy the shit out of my future husband. So here is a brief overview:
1.) He must propose with an onion ring. I will accept a ring with a normal looking smooth golden band inside, but the outside must be gold and look all bumpy like someone took an onion ring and threw it in a vat of gold. I will also accept real onion rings and as a last resort, a quater machine ring.
2.) He must karoke "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with me at our wedding.
3.) He must get a tattoo of stick people running on one of his feet so I can chase them with my T-rex tattos.
I think it all ended with me saying, "And this is why I'm going to die alone"

2004-12-01T09:09:00.000-08:00

I'm at school. I feel like shit. I wish my ride would get here already so I could go get into my nice cozy bed and get my sleep on and get this headache off.

IMPORTANT: It has come to my attention that I am moving and I do NOT have a stereo or boombox or whatever you crazy kids are calling those things that play cd's nowadays....If anyone can tell me where I can find one to play my annoying opera cd's on (preferably $30 or under) I will make you baked goods. It can't be on e-bay either because I don't have a credit card to order it with. Grasis. Besos. -Miranda

2004-12-01T08:12:00.000-08:00

HAPPY DECEMBER!

Brrr! I'm still sick. I think the fact that I have no heat may have someting to do with it. I've been taking baths the old fashioned way by boiling water in pots and pouring it in the bathtub. Rock N' Roll. I hate being sick. I get far to restless for lying in bed all day. I sat with Trixie and was unimpressed by my Vonnegut. I watched the same DVD for the 800th time. I beat a boy at video games (They get really mad when girls do that). I can't box or sing, so I think I'm about to go crazy. I can't sleep because I can't breathe well enough. I took dayquil and now I feel high.....

Enough of that boringness. I start working with the Cancer Kids today and tomorrow. I'm nervous. I hope they like me. I'm sure they will, I'm just being the silly girl that I am.

I can't wait until winter break. My only plans are on New Year's Eve. I think dor the rest I might just get a puppy, train him, and work one day a week until school starts again. Lovely.

Currently, I am preoccupied with being in love with being in love with everything.

2004-11-29T06:11:00.000-08:00

RANDOMNESS:

I'm so ILL!!! It's not the sick part that bothers me, it's that my voice is gone. And for Hanukkah I got enough money to but my Piano, and seeing as how I can't really play piano, I just use it to sing.....I AM A VERY SAD PANDA! : (
Voice, please come back. I'll never ask you for anything every again. I swear. I'll be good and i'll never yell or strain you, or smoke, or be around smoke, just please, please come back. I want...NO, I need to sing. I feel like crap.

UPDATE ON MY EVER SO BORING LIFE: I'm moving to Athens in December. yay. I'm nervous because I have social anxiety and mass amounts of people my own age kind of freak me out. Note to self: Quit being such an antisocial loserface. Ok, so we have a 3 bedroom house with a yard and a front porch...and as soon as it gets warm enough I'm getting a rocking chair and I'm going to sit on my porch and rock with my dog in my lap like I'm some kind of creepy old dog lady. Ooooh, and I'm getting a giant dog because I'll have a yard to put him in. AND, I almost forgot...Kristin is letting me get a christmas tree (my first one) and we're gonna put up lights (my first christmas lights) and I'm super excited because Jewish kids miss out on all the fun. However, I'd have to say I'd choose Latkes over Fruit Cake any day of the week.

I'm, going on a date with a boy who is going to do my makeup for me before we go out. We are going out dressed as Zombie-Robo-Pirates. Does that still mean he's straight? Straight or not, I've got a crush.

2004-11-25T14:32:00.000-08:00
My Biological Mother is a Paranoid Schizophrenic. I call her, "Biological Mother" because until this summer, I hadn't talked to her for 13 years because aside from being bat shit insane, she is also not a nice lady. At all. So, she calls me yesterday to inform me...Oh wait...She called me to tell me Happy Birthday (my birthday was the 9th). So, she tells me happy birthday and that she's writing four novels, she's lost her job...AND (best Fucking part) she will be suing my Dad (the most fabulous man in the universe) for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!!!
COME ON!!!

Dear G-d,
My life really isn't crazy enough. I just wanted to say "Thanks" for never failing to keep me on my toes. All my love,
Miranda

2004-11-25T14:13:00.000-08:00
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I have not been auctioned off to a Jewish man yet...I also have an imaginary Jewish boyfriend long distance (That may have something to do with it)

Before I was stressed out....Post wine glass number three and now, I'm just drunk. Someone save me. No, really. Please.

On the upside: I scored a totally adorable date for New Year's...Second year in a row. "FUCK YEAH!"

2004-11-22T08:44:00.000-08:00
It has been brought to my attention that "Rex" is a boy name. And since I am a girl, I can not go by the name, "Rex"...Well my little playa hater's, in the words of my good friend Steve, "You are not a girl" -Direct quote. So how do ya like them apples?

2004-11-22T08:36:00.000-08:00
Wow, people with the disclaimer: "I only date Musicians" should do the world a favor and go down a bottle of painkillers and vodka.

2004-11-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

I took this picture about a week ago.
It's really hard to cath Kissing Fish kissing.
Then I was cleaning the tanks this weekend and I noticed they were gone.
I thought they got sold.
It turns out one got sold.
I found the other on top of the tank.
He had jumped out.
There he was all dried up.
It made me sick.
But, I still have the picture from last week of them kissing.

2004-11-22T06:48:00.000-08:00
So besides having people tell me that my hair makes me look really emo, or like Kelly Osbourne (did I spell her name worng?), it has now been determined that my hair also makes me look like the bad guy/girl from Captian Planet with the hair that covers half her face and you never get to see the other half. There will be no pictures of this posted because if you actually know what the hell I'm talking about, you fucking rule.

2004-11-19T09:00:00.000-08:00
I sang opera for 2 and a half hours yesterday. Seriously, if I get a piano I'm NEVER leaving my house....Unless I find a cute accompanist that is.

I am such a loser.

2004-11-17T09:37:00.000-08:00
I have a stab wound in my foot, so whenever I kick box it opens up and starts oozing and bleeding.
HIM:You're foot's bleeding!
ME:I know, I got stabbed in the foot.
HIM:EEEEWWWW! Don't touch it! How'd you get stabbed in the foot?
ME:It was my Birthday, me and my friends were making anklets out of zip ties and I got one on too tight, so my friend was cutting it off.
HIM:But how did your foot get stabbed?
ME:We were drunk.
HIM:How old are you?
ME:20
HIM:You're not old enough to drink.
ME:I am in Canada...and Mexico.

2004-11-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

I can't walk as fast in stilletos and that really aggravates me. Plus, I can't understand how two super think pieces of metal are supporting my entire body weight. These are going to break. Damn it! I never was good at rocking girly wear...that'll teach me.

So, Thanksgiving is coming up...This means that I have to see my family. Alone. Because all of my friends that could accompany me as a lifesaver/attention deflector are going to spend Thanksgiving with their families. Crap. That means I get a lecture, my cute cousin won't play with me because he's 5 and I'm a girl with cooties, and my aunt and grandmother are going to try to auction me off to a nice Jewish boy because they believe that marriage to a doctor or lawyer will solve all my problems....fun, fun, fun.

On the upside: The cutest boy in the entire world ever will be in town for Thanksgiving!
On the downside: He will only be in town for 18 hours, so I may not get to see him. Such is my life.

2004-11-17T05:15:00.000-08:00
Me and one of the guys I box with:
ME: You know, contrary to popular belief, I am still a girl.
HIM: You are not a girl.
ME: I am too! I just happen to enjoy lots of tomboyish things, like: knives, guns, boxing, comic books, video games, and gambling....BUT I'm a still a girl!
HIM: You're not a girl, you're an alien.
ME: I AM TOO A GIRL!!! I wear dresses and play dress up! Armon came home the other night and caught me playing dress up and taking pictures and then I got all embarrassed, I swear! Ask him!
ARMON: I have no idea what she's talking about.
HIM: That's what I thought. Alien.

2004-11-16T17:39:00.000-08:00
These conversations just kill me:
ME: So, have you ever jizzed in a girl's ear before.
HIM: Yeah, she was pretty pissed.
ME: For Real? You are my new hero! How about in a girl's eye?
HIM: Yeah.
ME: Nose?
HIM: Yep.
ME: Was she pissed?
HIM: Yeah, she was really mad.
ME: Was it all the same girl? Because that would be hilarious.
HIM: No, but the eye and nose one were the same girl.
ME: Well that's understandable.

2004-11-15T16:00:00.000-08:00

That is how it started. There I was in broad daylight, standing in the middle of an empty parking lot scribbling chalk graffiti and screaming like a crazy person. The loading truck drivers at Georgia power got a great laugh, I'm sure.
From there I drove for two hours going nowhere, just trying to get this one part of an aria right. I refused to call you and ask to borrow the piano because I'm the most stubborn girl in the world...and I was afraid you might touch me.

Go time again. It's dark out, which means I get to play sex kitten. I guess it's okay because that's your favorite game, only I forgot to mention that it bores me to death....did I wash that shirt.....WHAT DO YOU MEAN INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION?!? I really like shoes. They make shoes in Italy. Italy was ruled by a faschist dictator in World War Two......How's that for your intellectual conversation? "Ok, ok. I'm sorry darling, I was just teasing...Yeah, I'll show you teasing...Some other time, such as never." Oops, did I say that out loud?

I went and watched the sunrise, smoked my second cigarette (I didn't like it.), and sang songs on the roof top of an empty warehouse. Fantastic view. This will be my new hidden treasure. I love the sunrise. I forgot how lucky you are to be an insomniac. Uuuummm, insomnia, creativity, and a handful of bad art. My voice is too tired to sing anymore. Photography it is. I still can't even really use my camera.
I headed home and decided to play dress up. I pulled off my muddy chalk covered jeans and opted to skip the shower before slipping into my white, senior-prom-sucked-ass dress. Two hours of rolling around on the bed and the floor and I finally fell asleep. Still wearing the dress.

2004-11-11T07:53:00.000-08:00
I have an intense love for the rain and all things that are sick, sad, or broken. Not because I'm morbid. Just because I love to fix things. I love to love the unloved. I'm only slightly biased in my love for rain, because I only love rain when it pours fat rain drops that splatter into oblivion when they hit the pavement. I do not love the rain today.

2004-11-11T06:35:00.000-08:00
I went roller skating for my birthday and suprisingly enough I didn't fall and break my neck in hot pink wings and a tiara. There are more embarrassing ways to die I suppose.

I have a crush on a pair of twinkling eyes and a radiant smile. I can't dance with you. Or even look you in the eyes. You don't know me, but if you did you'd know why.

2004-11-08T06:52:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will no longer be a teenager. It's about fuckin' time!

2004-11-08T06:00:00.000-08:00
I got my camera...and a buzznet account
GO VISIT

2004-11-05T08:59:00.000-08:00
I haven't kissed anyone in over a month: SOMEONE CALL GUINNESS!

2004-11-05T08:08:00.000-08:00
Last night someone asked me what I was doing musically. I tried to explain to them, that I attempt to write songs, but it's too hard without an instrument and a certain knowledge of theory. Then I said, "I mostly sing jazz and classical. I'm in love with Coloratora." They didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I get my electric piano in December, but it seems like forever away and in December, I will have no home to practice at, and it will be too cold to sing outside. Although, singing outside in the wintertime does look beautiful.

I spoke to a boy I absolutely adore last night. He was looking for comfort. I don't know if I helped, but I hope I did. He is currently completely in love and turmoil, and it's utterly endearing. She sounds like the perfect match for him. I hope he marries her, or at least stays in, love for a long, long time and feels like everything is surreal. I told him that the distance wasn't so bad, at least she's not across an ocean anymore. I really love it when he's happy.

I want someone to dance with me anywhere I go, on any spur of the moment, whimsical fancy...singing while dancing is always a plus...not too much to ask.

So, I think I'm getting a digital camera this weekend....we will see. If I do, I probably won't know how to use it. Huuuummm....? It all depends on how my blingin' pay check is.

2004-11-05T08:01:00.000-08:00
Yesterday I found out that the boy I went to my 8th grade dance with died. I didn't really know what to feel, no one I've ever kissed (on the cheek) or danced with or made $1 "I-bet-you-won't-eat-that" lunchtime bets with has ever died. I wish I cried for him, but I couldn't. I'm going to the funeral this weekend and my little Bro's coming in town. I can't stand to see Zachie cry, and I'm sure he will. He's really upset. I think I'm mostly just confused. I'm sorry Davy, it was way too soon. I'm sorry Zachie, don't be so sad.

2004-11-03T08:01:00.000-08:00
I should have saved this for my more serious blog, but I'm going through one of the hardest things in my life right now, so everything feels serious. I will be light hearted again soon. Seriously, I play with puppies as a profession. But for now I want to explode with emotion and I can't because I'm emotionally dysfunctional, so instead I write and sing and sing and write and here it is, not even the half of it:

On Monday I was writing a sad song about you.

"...Because I'm drowning in your eyes and I can't stay and watch you die tonight..."

I daydream in July.
And I can never see the stars underneath the cloudy sky...
Until last night.

I was heartbroken and violently happy at the same time.
I saw you smile for the first time in forever and it illuminated the world.
You said the only word I've ever wanted to hear.
"Stay."

Beacuse I've never loved anyone the way I love you, but I could never touch you or tell you. So instead I'll stay and try not to be afraid.

I've left a hundred times and I've seen the ones I love deteriorate before my eyes.
But you said to stay, so I swear I'll try.
Because you said, "If you don't stay, I'm sure I'm gonna die."

2004-10-29T08:20:00.000-07:00
The world of grown ups makes me boring. I have three jobs. I cry over things I can't control. My puppies love me and so will the kids. I am very religious and it still creeps me out. I schedule every minute of my time becaus eif I have free time I roll back and fourth and make groaning noises because I don't know what to do. Whenever I'm home I bake. I don't have a boyfriend. This is not a travesty. I like being alone. Why don't you understand that? Don't try to set me up with friends or friends of friends. They make me too nervous. Don't touch me. I'm aware that I'm a good kisser. No, I don't need a hug, and for the love of G-d NEVER touch me when I cry.

I'm dissapearing for a while.

2004-10-29T07:57:00.000-07:00
I recorded you a song.
I saved a copy for me too.
Tears stream down our cheeks in unison.

I wonder if yours are golden? I always expected them to be because your eyes are such a deep green with a sparkling ring of gold inside. I imagined that when you cried all that sparkle would flow out of your eyes and fall to the ground.

We are a hundred miles apart.
You knew it had to be this way.
Because somehow you were the wiser one.
I didn't mean for the song to be sad.
It's just true.
Maybe all we ever were was a sad story that someone made up once upon a time.

I am sitting in my room singing along and thinking of you.
"There's a place for us, a time and place for us....."

I can save the world,
but I can't save you.

2004-10-27T09:56:00.000-07:00
Someone called me Mysterious Miranda yeaterday. I replied, "I'm not Mysterious, just quiet and highly unavailable."

Speaking of names...my new name is REX ADVENTURE. Just because.

I think people should bring back wearing formal wear 24/7.

My dad is a frat boy. Not only does he do keg stands,and moon my friends, he also laughs about wood polishing jokes. (Armon and I went over to get cleaning chemicals yesterday and I said Armon needed wood polish...we all laughed for a food five minutes.)

2004-10-25T08:12:00.000-07:00
So, I am going to be working with the Cancer patients at the children's hospital or the kidney/liver transplant patients. I think that this is a good enough reason to stay in Georgia. I also think that this is going ot somehow change my life big time. Bigger than blue lights big time. Bigger than I woke up a few weeks ago and thought to myself "shit, I can't even pretned to be a kid anymore big time." The point here is: I need a roomate and a cheap house to rent. A cheap house where I can keep a big dog and me and Trixie, and roomate. Quiet is preferable. Not in Atlanta is preferable. I must get out of Atlanta A.S.A.P. Otherwise I think I might get sucked into the downward spiral....I will need to be close enough to drive to the city and work though...tricky, very tricky. Any ideas?

2004-10-25T08:01:00.000-07:00
NON-DATE SEARCH:

Hi. My name is Miranda and I am looking for a non-date. This may include: dinner, opera tickets (if not terribly expensive), a movie if no opera, playing with small animals, sidewalk chalk....and yeah, who knows. There will be NO: Kissing, or intimacy beyond kissing...possible hand holding or hugging...and ABSOLUTELY NO CUDDLING. Looking for male or female applicants.

2004-10-25T07:58:00.000-07:00
I think I'm going to go on a sleeping fast becuase then maybe if I'm really tired my dreams will stop making me want to wake up and kill myself.

2004-10-22T08:06:00.000-07:00
Someone asked me to tell a joke the other day:

ME: I don't know any jokes.
THEM: Come on, you have to know at least one joke.
ME: ok, ok, I got one. So a guy walks into a bar...and says, "OUCH!"

It's times like that when I wish I always had the chirping cricket sound effect on me.

2004-10-22T08:03:00.000-07:00
I have this drive somewhere inside of me that makes me feel like I never give enough. But how much of yourself can you really give away to the world? It makes me feel very selfish sometimes...And then it makes me feel very alone at others because I always wonder if anyone else feels or thinks this way, but I don't think they do. I'm starting a job at a children's hospital where I get to go read, play video games, watch movies, or sing to sick children. I can't wait.

2004-10-22T05:21:00.000-07:00
I met the most amazingly non-threatening man last night. He is my friend's older brother and he has a girlfriend. Last night he played me opera songs and pop quizzed me on what they were. I got them right, of course. He played moonlight sonata's third movement flawlessly and I forced myself not to tear up. I told him all about opera songs and which ones sound like magic if sung properly. He has the most brilliant smile I've ever seen in my entire life. Thank G-d he has a girlfriend, otherwise I'd be in heaps of trouble! I am going to steal his piano on Sunday and sing, until I can't anymore. Le sigh.

2004-10-20T08:27:00.000-07:00
I went to see The Faint last night and they rickety rocked my socks off...my leg warmers too. I yelled and danced until I was covered in sweat and dizzy and felt like passing out! YAY!!! I can't believe I almost ran out because the crowd got me anxious...more specifically an ex in the crowd got me anxious. I'm such a stupid girl sometimes. Ok, most of the time. Fine, I said it! I also saw my long lost awesome high school friends, Patrick, Jayna, and Ben. Then they came over and watched "Cannibal: The Musical" complete with liquored up commentary. Ah, la vita e dolce.

My best friend is trying to set me up on a date with a piano playing, soon-to-be doctor. I'm going to chicken out. 1.) Because the word "date" terrifies me. 2.) because I will fall in love with anyone who can sight-read Menotti and 3.) Because if my father hears the words "doctor" and "date" in a sentence referring to me, he will have wedding invitations printed immediately.

My dad called me yesterday and inquired about a letter my Grandma sent me:
HIM: So what did Mimi send you?
ME: Oh, just some articles.
HIM: What kind of articles.
ME: Articles of Confederation.
HIM: What?
ME: Huh?
HIM: What are you talking about?
ME: It was a joke dad.
HIM: What?
ME: Nevermind.

I saw a girl in my psychology class wearing a shirt that said this: "I came to college to meet my husband." It was baby pink...I could go on, but I'm gonna be nice and not even go there.

I am currently wearing a shirt I got at the thrift store. The label says, "Bubble Shirt". It looks funny and feels like wearing paper.

Oh yeah, my cell phone is found. If you want to party on Saturday call me!

Can anyone else tell that I've been off my aderall for five and a half months?

2004-10-18T08:10:00.000-07:00
With every new season I get flooded with old memories. I was driving yesterday with my windows down when it hit me. I was singing along to the same old songs that I always sing to this time of year when I suddenly realized that I'll probably never see him again. I felt like I got punched really hard in the stomach and my eyes welled up- with tears, but I couldn't cry. He is my favorite memory. Actually he is all of my favorite memories. I have never loved one person so much, and I don't think I ever will again. He and I, we were closer than family. I once filled him up a jar with a hundred oragami stars all with nice things written to him on the insides. I told him if he was ever sad or he missed me too much, to open one up and read it. I wonder if he still has any left? When we were in sixth grade I gave him a box of lucky charms with only the heart shaped marshmellows in it. It took me 12 boxes of picking them all out before I could fill the one box up. The funny thing is I didn't even like Lucky Charms I just liked him. He was the first boy that kissed me and I told him it was gross. He was the first boy to see me cry. He was the olny other 9 year old who hid in the tree with me at recess. He was the first person I told my real name to. I was the first person he told his real name to. He is my favorite memory. I miss you always.

2004-10-18T06:35:00.000-07:00
WEEKEND RECAP:

FIGHT NIGHT: Fucking rocked! My favorite part was when a guy got roundhoused to the head and got knocked out! I won't get to in depth with the fighting because I think that may bore everyone but me and a few other readers who fight to death....I can wait till I have my first tournament.

I went to a haunted house with my friend Lindsey. It was called 13 stories, so we thought you had to make it to the top a building...false. What a rip off and we were the only people there that were not in high school. Double Lame.

When I was in eighth grade I went through this clothing phase where I liked to pretend that tennis skirts were actual skirts....I went to the thrift store yesterday and bought tennis skirts and sweaters, so I could cut off the sleeves for leg warmers. Now I am wearing tennis skirts with sweater sleeve leg warmers and pretending that they are real people clothes. I also bought the ugliest sweater on the planet. It is black with silver, gold, and brown spots...AND shoulder pads. It is my new favorite article of clothing.

PARTY AT MY PLACE ON THE 23RD!!! IT'S ARMON'S B-DAY! BRING STRANGERS, BOOZE, HOOKERS, SILLY STRING, TWISTER, TAPE, SPORKS, PUFFINS, AND UM...YEAH.
I would say to call me, only my cell phone has decided to dissapear, so e-mail me if you are interested: mbaras1@yahoo.com COME ONE, COME ALL!

2004-10-15T10:12:00.000-07:00
This shit never gets old.....
Your Mom!!!

2004-10-15T08:08:00.000-07:00
I saw "Casablanca" last night and it made me feel completely nostalgic. I loved the music! It made me miss my grandfather like crazy because he is the one who taught me how to sing when I was little. He would play music from the 30's and 40's on the organ, then he would teach me the songs line by line. He would sing a line, then make me sing it back.....I now have a permanant soft spot for old timey music. I think the first song I want to learn on my piano will be "As Time Goes By"...that probably makes me seem like a total cheese ball, but I like it, so I really don't care. ".....a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh....." It's beautiful.

I met my gay fiance. His name is Bobby and he is super hot and super gay. We are going to live in a 3 bedroom house, be married and do other people (because he's gay, duh!), adopt asian babies, and have Great Danes as pets.....and we will do lots and lots of shopping.....*

*Ok, not really. We will just be friends and go to the dog park a bunch...he's going to give me a Great Dane puppy! Note to Self: Get a house.

Also: I found a super secret thing in a secret location....if anyone wants to go, I'm going on Sunday...so call me and I'll explain all of this.

2004-10-13T10:00:00.000-07:00
Police line ups are not as cool as the movies and TV make them out to be....but I guess that goes for just about anything you see in the movies or on TV.

2004-10-12T06:03:00.000-07:00
THANK YOU KARMA!
Well, to top off my list of awesomeness (and trust me, I really fuckin' needed some awesomeness).....

1.) I am a pet store manager
2.) I got into University of New Mexico
3.) I got a full scholarship
4.) I'm not going...
5.) I'm going to a crap ass 2 year technical college to get a certification as a veteranary technician or nursing technician.....
6.) Then I'm going to real college to study opera (because I'm never really happy unless I'm singing)
7.) I'm also getting an electric piano for my birthday!!!

CURRENTLY, I LOVE EVERYTHING!!! Oh yeah, I still need a place to live if anyone is looking for roommates...

2004-10-11T07:55:00.000-07:00
THINGS THAT FUCKING ROCK!

I am going to this. This is a fucking badass fight with Muy Thai, Boxing,No Holds Barred fighthing...and more. I have a front row seat so I get to see every flinch, hit, and if I'm really lucky I get splashed with blood and sweat. I'm way too fucking excited about this. For serious. I think I really must be a fifteen year old boy, because no girl is A.) This into sports and B.) Loves fighting this much.

2004-10-08T11:02:00.000-07:00
Anytime I read the UNICEF website I cry because it makes me realize that I'm not doing anyhting.

2004-10-08T08:08:00.000-07:00
My hair is blue-black and now I look indie. Someone save me.

I got the best job in the world ever. My old one and it pays crap, but I really don't care because it makes me super happy. Now I get to play with puppies all day and take care of the sickie sick ones and love them ten times more because they're sick and no one wants to hold a snotty puppy that will vomit all over you if you pick it up....except me that it. Ok, I'm going to stop now because I could talk forever about how much I love puppies, but then I'd sound like those weird people you see on Animal Planet who are obsessed with their pets. I'm really really excited so one last time: MY JOB FUCKING RULES!!! YAY!

I am so freaking shy and awkward that sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself when I interact with people and in my brain it's just like "cringe....wince....damn that girl just needs to chill out or develop some serious social skills." I was talking to one of my friends yesterday and he said that he thought I was on speed the first day he met me because if I get really nervous I talk fast and non-stop and fidget with everything. He said he felt really bad for me and he just wanted me to calm down and not have a heart attack. I think that's really funny....and it sums up my mass amounts of spaztastic.

2004-10-06T08:14:00.000-07:00
Thank G-d for singing! I think if I couldn't sing, I'd be dead right now, seriously. I wrote the most kickass song this morning. It's called "Lullaby"

I lie awake
another sleepless night
too tired too see
too sad to cry
won't you sing me a lullaby

(insert Brahm's Weigenlied "lullaby" here)

I see your face
echo in my mind
but you're too far away
from me this time
I wish you were here
to sing me to sleep
I wish I was there
and yours to keep
because I'm too tired to see
and too sad to cry
I just want you
to sing me a lullaby

(insert last two lines of "Weigenlied")

All I need now is some piano and string music to go along.

2004-10-05T08:56:00.000-07:00
Blue lights. By the time the police got there I was bleeding, shaking, and crying uncontrollably. Last night was real bad. I don't want to talk about what happened. I want to pretend like it never did. Once upon a time like yesterday morning I was overwhelmed by my love for the world and passion for living. Then my candle got blown out. Anyway, I don't feel like being alone or alive right now so if people want to call me and be really nice or come hang out and sing me songs, read me stories, or bring me overdosable amounts of heroin my number is (770) 374-5874. Currently I don't think I'll make it till twenty.

2004-10-04T09:52:00.000-07:00
You know your girlfriend has found herself a good boyfriend when he doesn't get upset that you drew stick figures of you fucking his girlfriend doggie style with a strap-on on his wall.

NOTE TO SELF: Learn to spit fire. Then do so, naked.

2004-10-04T07:05:00.000-07:00
I got busted for graffiti yesterday a la my sidewalk chalking all around the apartments. These are my two favs.
(There was an evil bunny rabbit drawn next to this with a sign saying, "WARNING: Objects are more evil than they appear.)
One innocent day at the "petstore" this bastard rabbit attacked my little brother Jimmy after Jimmy picked it up so he could feel how fluffy and cute it was(and yes, you can feel cute) anywayz, the point is that el stupido rabbit slashed Jimmy's Bracchial artery and now Jimmy is deader than Tanya Harding's ice skating career (5 year olds can't spell so fuck you) The point here is: FUCKING RABBIT

I think I got busted on that one because it said the F-word. I also wrote this:
Shhh...time never stops, but it freezes in pieces quicker than the flicker of a flame. Freeze Frame. I refrain from revealing what secrets lie dormant in my brain. Pause Rewind...,<--- I digress and I simply must confess that this journey I have taken you on was a total diversion a swerve away from the truth a distraction of the most abstract, however you may call this being "INSIGHTFUL" so take that.

I also wrote the fucking coolest song on the planet this morning. It has no words, just syllables. It sounds like crying, laughing,and screaming.

2004-10-01T09:56:00.000-07:00
There is no way I can hold a weapon and not feel like a badass. (This includes Forks, Blenders, and Chop sticks.)]

I've found that the longer your legs are, the easier it is to kick people in the face. Therefore, I vow to never wear heels with less than five inches when going out of my humble abode. Evil Doers BEWARE!

(ok, fine I really won't do that, but it was a damn good idea. Besides who needs giant shoes for weapons when you have a very hideable knife on you at all times.)

G-d school is so boring!!!! I need a ball of yarn STAT...or some sidewalk chalk (I left mine in Athens).

2004-10-01T08:11:00.000-07:00
I think the top three compliments I have ever recieved go like this:

1.) You sing like a flute.
2.) You are an enigma.
3.) You look like Anemi when you're naked. ( I think I spelled that wrong. )

wow, sometimes I'm really dimb and shallow...like right now...andsometimesmyspacebarbreaks...likeright now...

2004-09-28T13:35:00.000-07:00
For some reason I only attract really stupid boys who tell me things like "Wow, you have really large breasts." "Thank G-d! I thought they were mutant strains of melanoma for a minute there. Whew!"

2004-09-27T10:39:00.000-07:00
Once I have money for something besdies $0.15 noodles,I'm going to make Lewis Structure cookies to study bond formation for Chemistry. Anyone want to join?

2004-09-27T08:08:00.000-07:00
Ok,now I hope those worked. G-d I'm such a computertard! I'm going to die this week because my schedule goes like this:

MONDAY: 6am Running TUESDAY: 9am Running WEDNESDAY: 6am Running
8am-1pm School 12pm-2pm Muy Thai 8am-1pm Class
6pm-9pm Muy Thai 3pm Doctor 6pm-9pm Boxing
9pm-3am Work 4pm Class 9pm-3am Work
7pm-3am Work

THURSDAY: 9am Running FRIDAY: 6am Running
11am-5:30pm Class 8am-1pm Class
7pm-3am Work 1pm-8pm Work
9pm Drive to Tampa

Plus I've started taking Aderall again, which makes me pleasntly calm, but unable to sleep well or want to eat....yummy,this week is so fun! Wow, I'm too tired to even post this right...whatever...

2004-09-24T08:04:00.000-07:00
PICTURES, PICTURES...YAY!!! *Note: I don't have photoshop, so all of these are really large and it kind of makes my blog look like ass, but I don't really care seeing as how Katie is the only one I know who really reads this anyway, and I sure you won't mind my sloppyness. Kisses!

Bathroom graffiti.

More bathroom graffiti, and my posing like a douchebag.

Oh, Chicago. I love thee.

This is my Craig. He is an absolute darling. He biked me around the city on his handle bars while I sang songs that I made up to distract me from the inevitable fear of falling off the handle bars and breaking my face.

Funny Boy Dance Party.

Hot Sex in the ATH Town and I'm not even drunk yet.

T-rex feet. It's hard to tell because my skin is so pale that the flash reflected off of it.

*P.S. the quality of these sucks cause I used a crap ass disposable camera. Sorry for this uber annoying postage.

2004-09-24T08:00:00.000-07:00
Most girls flirt by giving looks, or getting involved in witty, intelligent, and seductive conversations. I flirt by throwing jab, cross, uppercut, cross, hook combos to the face. Maybe this is why I never get asked out on dates.

2004-09-23T14:12:00.000-07:00
People who take themselves seriously are the funniest thing on the planet! Comedy actors don't really get this. I tried to explain it to one of my friends in acting class once when she was doing a comedy monologue. "Ok, that was good, now quit acting funny." She couldn't get it. "No. You have to be completely serious, that is where the funny comes from." Sigh. They never learn. Everyone just watch SNL with Will Ferrell. Notice how everyone in the scenes with him laughs, but he never breaks character? It's because he's serious! Really, is that so hard to comprehend!?! I will be such an exasperated director some day.

2004-09-23T10:24:00.000-07:00
I got this text message today: "I know how to teleport and you don't...Jealous"

2004-09-23T07:40:00.000-07:00
OH MY FUCKING G-D!!!
Dad's Garage Theater in Atlanta, made of musical out of the 1970's porno filck "Debbie Does Dallas" someone, or everyone must come see this with me!

2004-09-23T05:48:00.000-07:00
This weekend is Birthday weekend! YAY! Today's birthdays include: Todd and Noah. I haven't seen Noah since London, but we are hanging out on Saturday to "study math" and then get b-day sauced because everyone knows that birthdays last about a week. Mercedes birthday is Sunday. CAKE FIGHT! Thank goodness, I haven't had a good old fashioned cake fight in months. Since I have to repent this weekend I am goig to Tampa to visit said b-day person next weekend. Anyone want to come along? I promise free booze, bars, and hot girls...maybe hot boys too. I dunno, he manages a bar there. Oh! I think there might be a beach there too...incentive....((hint hint))

2004-09-23T05:42:00.000-07:00
I saw the second most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life yesterday. I didn't say anything to him though because I'm almost painfully shy, and I was disgusting from having boxed for 3 hours. I don't think he even caught me looking at him, alothough I caught him smiling at me....then later he laughed when he saw me rip into my trainer. "She just shy that one." he said, as he pointed at me. "Give her some time." I simply looked down and hid my eyes in my hair.

2004-09-22T07:03:00.000-07:00
From Friday at sun down until Saturday at sun down I will repent for all of my sins for the year and then they will be forgiven. 1 day. How do ya like them apples Lent?

2004-09-22T05:21:00.000-07:00
I'm getting the best-tattoo-in-the-world-ever today! I'm getting two cartoon T-rex's tattooed on the tops of my feet saying, "Rowrrr!" That way I can lay on my back with my feet up in the air and pretend that they are having T-rex fights. I'm never going to leave my house again.

*example* ((ring ring)) "Hello?...Oh, hey!...Tonight?...Yeah, that sounds great...."ROWRRR!"...Oh, wait a minute!..."Grrrr"....hold on.....T-rex fight!...I gotta go!...What?...."Rowrrr!".....oh, um.....I dunno...."AHHH!"....Ok, no really I gotta go!"

2004-09-22T05:20:00.000-07:00
My life is currently being fueled by Superfood, Redbull, and Stacker 3's. Why am I still awake?

2004-09-21T18:50:00.000-07:00
While road tripping home, I stumbled across two seperate cd's both of which had songs by different boys, both written for and about me. The first made me cry. It was from him...and the lyrics were haunting correct...as if he saw what was coming all along, yet the end was somewhat different almost as if that was what was necessary. It's called "Long Year". The second song was from my best friend, and it was so true. It just stated how I'm as elusive as possible and I only let people see what i want them to see. You know me all too well darling. There is somewhere a second song by the first boy, it's called "Kisses". he sent me the lyrics, but never the music. The lyrics gave me chills. Not in a good way.

2004-09-21T17:36:00.000-07:00
I AM IN LOVE WITH CHICAGO! OHMIGOSH!!! I think it may be the best place I've ever been. It's like New York, only minus all the reasons New York sucks...except that it gets cold there. That is why I could never move there. It snows. Ewwwww, snow. I went and stayed with my friend Craig, who is an absolute sweetheart (why he doesn't have a super cute and nice Chicago girlfriend is beyond me). The first night we went out with the boys who were all actors and comedians for open mike night. Hilarious! The next day we made jew food for friends and then went out for dollar beers and listened to a Macedonian lady tell us that a man should kill a cat for a woman before he marries her, so she knows that he's in control. Hilarious again. The next day I ran around alone, and tried to keep my mouth shut because I kept gaping at everything because it was so beautiful. ARTHUR MILLER WAS THERE!!!! At a free first production of one of his plays. A FREE PLAY BY ARUTHER MILLER WITH ARTHUR MILLER IN THE AUDIENCE. I love, love, love it. I walked around inside of a giant silver jelly bean.....got really lost.....got yelled at by men in cars (but, nobody would stop and give me directions).....drank too many pints for a dollar.....about creamed myself when I saw the library.....watched cartoons.....got told that I had the perfect shoes if I ever needed to try and snipe barbie.....walked everywhere.....I'm sad I left, but on the upside, I get to go back for winter break. YAY! I hope I don't die of frost bite.

2004-09-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

She
contracted Swimmer's ear from a boy! That is the funniest thing I have read all day. I love you Katie Mo.

2004-09-15T10:01:00.000-07:00
A couple of nights ago I called to cancel plans with a very old and dear friend. Suprisingly enough, he let me wake him up at odd hours of the morning to hang out, and it was great. We talked for four hours like nothing had changed. He told me about his whirlwind storybook romance and he got really excited and whimsical, just like he does when he feels. I think he is one of the greatest people I have ever met and it makes me really happy that he's so happy. Best wishes my darling.

P.S. Rosh Hashana is Friday, just tell your professors that you're Jewish and drive down to see her on Thursday night. Good luck.

2004-09-15T08:49:00.000-07:00
Someone told me I was like the chaos theory.

2004-09-15T05:42:00.000-07:00
My sleep schedule has ever so slowly diminished. I am now averaging about 2-4 hours a night. Monday night I left Athens at around 4 am, then I slept for 2 hours, then I drove home, mailed my scholarship application, and went to box. I had to go to my old high school to pick up transcripts for my scholarship. The moment I walked in the building I felt very out of place and kind of ill....ewwww....high school. After I finished that mini adventure I went to do muy thai for 2 hours. It was awesome! I didn't suck, or even feel like I was gonna die at any point during training, which is very impressive for someone who hasn't really worked out since about March. I almost forgot how fucking good it feels. It makes your body feel kind of like you got hit by a train, but in a good way. Wow, I think I might be high on this shit for a while...that is if I don't die after my training from 6-9pm tonight. I started singing again. Fucking kick ass! I found the most beautiful french aria sang by a girl who is forbidden to sing and taken from her lover. It's so intense that it makes me want to cry whenever I think of the translation...luckily, it's in french, which I can't really pronounce, so I have to concentrate on that and I don't bawl like a little bitch every time I open my mouth. Between the opera and the muy thai, I think I'm either gonna cream myself or die of exhaustion...maybe both if I'm lucky.

P.S. Someone told me I was intimidating and I laughed for a good ten minutes because I must be the most shy, dorkface on the planet.....then someone else told me I was an enigma...people are funny.

2004-09-13T05:11:00.000-07:00
I went to the ball game yesterday with my dad. I haven't been to a ball game since I was about 13. I asked a bunch of stupid questions like, "What's an RBI?" I sat and watched my dad get Armon tipsy on ball game beer, because he won't let me drink. I don't get that. My dad is always getting my guy friends and my boyfriends tipsy or drunk, but if I have one drink he will freak out and ask me if I'm an alcoholic. I think this may be due to the fact that I am indeed a female. He also got really mad at me because of my Mary t-shirt. He said that it was just disrespectful. Apparently I should quit wearing such disrespectful clothing (Bush t-shirt) included.

Armon and I bought biscuits for a food fight and window markers for car graffiti (we haven't done any yet), but I did start an extensive list of things that I love on my giant window and I don't thiink most people would think it's pretty. Good thing I quit caring what most people think by the age of 13.

For the house warming party I have decided that I want an outerspace party. I'm talking blacklights, everyone dressed in aluminum foil, ceran wrap, and fishbowls....glowsticks....jello shots....bad techno.....the works. I also want people to run around mumbling in "bee bee bo boop"....I wish I could better explain that.

I'm going to Chicago (finally!) this weekend, to go play with the funniest boy in the world. Yay! He works for a diamond store and if I'm nice I might get to go play dress up.

What else.....oh yes, Friday is Rosh Hashana, so if anyone wants to come and eat apples and honey with me, you're more than welcome because my family will be out of town and I've never been alone for the New Year (sad). Over and out.

2004-09-10T07:52:00.000-07:00
When I was younger, I hated high school for multiple reasons, one of which was the fact that my high school was run by complete morons...apparently it still is. I have called those bastards about 6 times to try to get my transcripts for my UNM scholarship and they keep sending me to this damn voice mail for Mrs. Wood. I don't know who the hell this Mrs. Wood is, but I am now convinced that she must be some kind of terrible cunt faced succubus. Wow, that was really mean and childish of me to write. I apologize to all of my readers, but not Mrs. Wood or North Springs High School. Those stupid spartans can burn in hell for all I care, because if I call and get a voice mailbox one more time, I am going to go down there myself and be polite, but wish I were yelling and cursing. So there. NORTH SPRINGS HIGH SCHOOL AND ALL OF IT'S FACULTY AND STAFF SHOULD GO FUCK THEMSELVES.

2004-09-10T05:52:00.000-07:00
I've turned down a million good propostions for studying this week. Someone tell me to quit being lame, quick!

Ok, for serious, I have a whole....I'll say 3 friends in Atlanta (because I don't count people that would do me as "friends"), and I have a new condo, with a fake ass room and a fun hot tub, and I need people to come and hang out with me, and dance and do cartwheels and listen to cock rock while wearing funny outfits, and read comic books, and play scrabble and poker, and drink $15 champagne, and do other dumb ass shit because the ATL sucks dick! Someone please, oh please, oh please come visit me!!! I will make you baked goods...and give you a massage....maybe even a foot massage (unless you are Armon, Greg, or Noah...ewwww). That is all for now.

P.S. I think I'm comma-tose. (BAD PUN!)

2004-09-09T05:32:00.000-07:00
My dad bought me a light pink sweater with a black poodle in a rhinestone collar on it. It is the funniest thing I have ever seen, and you bet your sweet ass that I will wear it proudly and look like a 1950's prom reject. I'm 1950licious!

2004-09-08T05:20:00.000-07:00
I am a complete computertard! I don't think they should be so difficult for me to operate, but as of late I'm just beginning to think that maybe it's a genetic dysfunction. I can't get the driver's for my HP at home, so it doesn't work, which you would think sucks enough, but oh, no, no, no...it seems that I also am too stupid to operate my web CT which is where all of my chemistry homework and quizzes happen to be. Hurrah for me! By the way, I am either selling my HP or using it for a large paper weight, if you're interested let me know.

2004-09-07T15:41:00.000-07:00
Today I asked my dad if I could have money to get my hair cut, so I could look more like a girl. He looked at me and said really loudly and scarcastically, "If you want to look like a girl, quit cutting your hair!"

2004-09-07T14:29:00.000-07:00
I'm a secret person. This is for multiple reasons, such as the fact that most of my thoughts are very very silly and dorky, therefore having a friend who makes me tell them everything can make me feel very vunerable. Example:

Today at lunch. We pass a very hot 50's style car.

HIM: Wow, that's a very 50's car.
ME: Hot. I always wanted a '57 Chevy.
HIM: Why?
ME: They're hot cars.
HIM: That's not why.
ME: What are you talking about?
HIM: You're making a face, which leads me to believe that there is an ulterior motive for your wanting the car and it's probably embarrassing. What kind of Chevy?
ME: It doesn't matter.
HIM: WHAT KIND OF CHEVY?
ME: (whisper/) A malibu.
HIM: What?
ME: A MALIBU FOR CHRIST SAKES! WHY DOES IT MATTER?
HIM: Why do you want a '57 Chevy Malibu?
ME: No reason.
HIM: Why?
ME: It doesn't fucking matter!
HIM: Then just tell me damn it!
ME: NO!
HIM: G-d dammnit Miranda, will you just fucking tell me!
ME: (very quietly) It's Barbie's car.
HIM: Who's car? Abby's car?
ME: No!
HIM: Sparky?
ME: No.
HIM: Who!?!
ME: Barbie! I ALREADY SAID IT'S BARBIE'S CAR!
HIM: oh.

He laughs hysterically while I sit at th table with my head down.

2004-09-07T09:32:00.000-07:00
Sometimes I think that I don't really fit in in college....and by sometimes, I mean, all the time. I don't like partying, or drinking, or promiscuity. I don't like being pawed by horny drunk men or small talking with smarties over cocktails. "heehee, oh, you are just so witty!" And apparently, it is horribly wrong for me to dress sexy and feed people stupid lines and then punch them after they try to make a move. I thought it was a free country and flirting was allowed, I was unaware that dressing sexy and flirting made you an automatic tease. My bad. I guess it's really my fault for not liking it when people invade my personal envelope. Whoops! Ok, enough of that....I found a moving buddy, so I don't have to run away and live all alone. It was a difficult conversation at first because neither one of us ever like to be serious or emotional, but I think it should work to the advantage of us both. We are creating awesome resumes with fake companies and real answering systems, and we're gonna not tell anyone who we really are...kind of like spies....oohh....I am moment obsessed and nobody gets this. I love watching everything. Interactions. Conversations. That initial response of the facial muscles before the programmed expression takes over. Changing scenery. I would love to freeze them all and study them moment by moment. I was sitting at the park yesterday about to be blown away adn it was like sensory overload. The noises, the smells, the sounds, the people, the animals, the textures. I sometimes wonder if anyone else ever feels that way....or if I'm just crazy....I'd put my money on the second one......I got stood up 4 different times in the last 3 days. I need less flakey friends, although I do always accept getting ass as a good reason for ditching karoke or beers in the hot tub. Oh! I moved into a pimp ass condo off of North Ave. and I only have to pay $100 a month and that includes my utilities! Hell yeah! Now I can save up all my $ for moving out west, fucking rock! We will be having a house warming party....I don't know when yet. Over and out.

2004-09-03T05:21:00.000-07:00

This is my new comic book obsession. It is Samuari Penguin. I got it for only $.10 and it is the fucking bomb! He fights great white sharks, and there is an evil walrus named Artimus that has badass evil seal minions.....ok, that is all for the dorkiness for now.

Tonight I will be chillin' in the ATH town visiting my friend Patrick, who is like a human cartoon. Mercedes will be there too, if she will let me surgically remove her from Mikel. Everyone should come and hang out! We will be running around and causing all sorts of trouble. Yay!

2004-08-31T12:22:00.000-07:00
YAY! Benz is coming to save me from college kids. We are going to go and drink pitchers and talk about how college kids suck and they think that post modernism is cool just because it's trendy. Then we are going to make fun of boys and laugh. I love my little Benz, she saves me from banging my head on a desk like Charlie Brown.

2004-08-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

Children on leashes never cease to amuse me. I saw one at the airport the other day and I cracked up for a good five minutes.

2004-08-31T10:06:00.000-07:00
I think for my birthday I should have an old skool slumber party....only I need more friends that are girls first....actually I think my guy friends would come, over wear Pj's, and let me paint their nails and do their hair....Sweet!

yeah I spelled school, "skool" and what of it?

2004-08-30T10:51:00.000-07:00
I hate it when strangers give me appearance compliments. As if I'm not awkward enough as it is! The worst part is that they usually look you in the eyes when they do it. I hardly even like letting my friends and family look me in the eyes, more or less some stranger. That and I kinda like to walk around alone with my head down and pretend that no one ever looks at me. When someone tells you directly that they like how you look, it makes doing that sort of thing impossible because now you know that they're looking at you. I've been this way since I was a kid. My stepmom used to yell at me so much about looking at the ground all the time, that I once went two weeks where all I did was stare at the ceiling whenever I walked around or addressed anyone. After I gave that up, due to a very sore neck, I tried to walk around everywhere with my face in a book, but I kept running into things.

2004-08-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have a huge crush on Dominique Swain, but she stars in some of the worst movies on the planet and I'm not allowed to rent them.

Oooh, speaking of rent...I got a new place to live until December. I think when I move for real I'm just gonna sell all my furniture, and my computer, so all I will bring with me will be books, clothes, blankets, pillows, and Trixie. I'm going to be a minimalist...and then people will be really weirded out when they come to my apartment because it will be a big empty rooms with books, and clothes lining the walls and a heapof blankets and pillows in the middle that will be my bed. Poor life is fun. No, really. It is.

2004-08-30T08:04:00.000-07:00
My sister left yesterday. I really wanted to cry because I was really happy and sad at the same time,which is an awful feeling. My little sister is taller then me, has champagne colored blond hair, and looks and acts older. Her favorite color is pink, she doesn'tlike tomatoes, she always wears make-up, she listens to cool music, and she owns the "Jesus is my homeboy T-shirt". I think she is my newest favorite person(2nd to my dad of course, because he is always my favorite). We went to Six Flags and watched movies and talked about tricks for not reading dumb ass high school books...and I miss her so much already. Maybe she will move in with me in a year or two. That would be fantastic. What else....I dunno,I'm excited, I've never had close family and she really likes me and I really love her and I kind of want to give her the whole world. I've never felt like that about anyone. I wonder if that's how all siblings feel? I wish I could've been there when she was a kid, I bet she was really fun and cute. She's also really mature, I assume that's just because she jumped out of the womb grown-up already. I think we both did. Ok, enough of my happy banter. Awww, she gone! That sucks! Does anyone want to come and hang out with me now that I'm sisterless?

2004-08-27T05:38:00.000-07:00
So, tonight I get a fourteen year old sister to hang out with all weekend. This means I must rid my apartment of booze, porn, and smokables. I don't have plans for tonight....um, I really hope she likes me. Tomorrow morning I am going to play Jewish by going to schul. I hope I don't get too many dirty looks for having tattoos behind my ears. Yay! Gearing up for the high holidays will be fun...not! I have lots of stuff for repenting. Man, this makes me sound like a damn fool! All I'm doing this semester is studying, working, and reading the Torah. Does anyone remember when I used to be fun and go out and do stuff? Someone go find Brooke for me or something. Miranda's a lame ass.

2004-08-26T09:25:00.000-07:00
If someone could find me a large picture of Neil Patrick Harris from his "Doogie Howser M.D." days so I can screen print it onto a tee shirt, I will love you.

2004-08-26T09:16:00.000-07:00
He was just kidding.

2004-08-26T09:14:00.000-07:00
It's the first week of school and I made a friend! And by made, I mean I talked to a guy I had class with spring semester, but whatever. I talked to someone the first week of school and that must be a record or something. Whoo college!

P.S. I just got called a big slut who defends other big sluts by my best friend.

2004-08-25T08:15:00.000-07:00
I'm in a nightmare. Someone please wake me up.

2004-08-24T06:26:00.000-07:00
AND NOW: THE "I GREATLY DISLIKE HUGS STORY" (which really isn't a story at all)

I greatly dislike hugs. I think that if maybe I hated stuuf I might even be capable of hating them. There is almost nothing that makes me feel as akward and uncomfortable as a hug, not hug giving though, I like giving them, I just hate being hugged myself. Ewwww...hugs! It just so happens that I have a very huggy best friend and he will never get this. According to him I need, and I mean, I really need to learn to like being hugged. No can do Amigo. There are just waaaaay too many scary hugging possibilities. First, there are the people who hug and do the gross creepy backrub thing. Ick. Or the people that pat, and they usually pat to hard or something. Then there's the people that hold you too hard like they're trying to suffocate you. Or the ones that give you the half assed dead zombie fish type hugs, like they've somehow lost feeling in their limbs, but for some reason they just managed to drape their dying appendages around your body. And lastly, there are the really creepy, hold on for way too long huggers. They hold you and usually they are a combo of too tight hugger with hold on too long hugger, so they hold you way too long and hard and you can't get out and, and, and......OHMIG-D! Just the thought of it makes me want to run away while screaming and spewing showers of projectile vomit all at the same time. Ok. There is your explanation. So, don't hug me, especially when I'm upset because then I might just punch you in the face or puke in your face and the run away screaming while still puking.

2004-08-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

I want a tattoo of Pangea with the borders of modern day countries drawn in. If anyone can design that for me I will be eternally greatful.

2004-08-24T04:54:00.000-07:00
THE "I GREATLY DISLIKE HUGS STORY" COMING SOON TO A BLOG NEAR YOU...

2004-08-23T08:05:00.000-07:00
I hate the first day of school. Not because of the learning part. I love learning because I'm a huge dorkass and I like to read and study and write papers. I hate the first day of school because of the people and the bullshit. I just ran around to 5 different departments and I still can't register for Biology and I got lost and had to ask for directions. "How long have you been here?" "Just two years." Blah! Oh well, now I'm found and I have fun classes and I'm going to study and be a dorky hermit for all semester. No one hold me to that.